A Future Letter From An American University President

December 1, 2061

To: Board of Trustees
From: John T. Olerance, President, All American University
Re: Quelling of radical groups and hate speech on campus

I want to inform the board of trustees of my awareness of the recent incidents of hate speech on our campus, and of the activities of the radical cell groups which I hold responsible. As you know, a decade ago the university passed an absolute ban on any campus organizations that promote such incendiary ideas. Through the federal anti hate speech legislation and church regulatory laws passed over thirty years ago (and the mass arrests of priests and pastors that followed) our society as a whole has been liberated from these types of suppressive and hateful sentiments. However, there are some clandestine remnants who are strategically targeting college campuses around the country. They realize, of course, that the university is often the rudder that steers the moral and intellectual ship of society, and they seek to gain influence there as the fastest means of returning to the type of degrading tyranny that was imposed on so much of the world for so many centuries before our own.

In fact, while looking through some news archives from universities around the country, I recently came across a fifty-year-old article from The Pennsylvania State University that shows the extent of the strangle hold this backward sect once had on the mindset of the majority of Americans. The article described a huge scandal resulting in the firing of the university president along with other top officials, all because one of the school’s football coaches was found to be authentically living out his trans-generational orientation. I want you to know that I am as appalled as you are to know that the moral sensibilities of our culture were so twisted by this ancient superstition that good American people were deprived of the right to live out their natural-born orientations. This is a crime which I hope never to see repeated!

With all this in mind, I want to assure you that broad minded acceptance of all viewpoints, lifestyles, and beliefs is one of the foundational principles of this university, and as its president, I will work diligently to see that this is upheld. Through some well-placed informants, I am becoming increasingly aware of the time and locations of the secret meetings of these Christian groups. All it will take is one piece of evidence proving they have held an unapproved religious gathering, and everyone involved will be in violation of federal law, and thus eliminated as a threat to the tolerance and progress of our university.