More on Homosexuality and Abortion

(Below is my response to a comment posted on May 22)

Thank you for your candid comments. I hope everyone at Bethany thinking about these issues will voice their thoughts as you and the others commenting on the blog have.

I’ll respond to each of your questions separately:

“If I have relatives or friends who are gay and I love them and don’t try to change them I’m not a Christian? There are members of our own church who are gay, do we not love them as our own?”

We must keep in mind, the moral issue of homosexuality is not about “orientation.” It is about behavior. It’s not about the way gay people are born, but about how they choose to respond to the way they were born. The Christian view on human sexuality, as clearly and unambiguously given in scripture, is that our capacity of sex is a morally significant thing. Sex was designed by God as a means of procreation and spiritual/emotional bonding between one man and one woman in the context of a life-long marriage. Any time sexual intercourse happens outside that context, it is sin. Not only is this point made clearly and consistently in the Bible, it is the position that has been held by all of the most influential and trustworthy Christian leaders for the past 2,000 years.

Regarding your question about gay friends or family members whom we love. Loving someone necessarily means seeking that person’s best interest. If we have loved ones who are openly practicing sexual sin (be it homosexuality or open marriage or legal prostitution--each of these takes place among consenting adults) because they do not think it is sin, it is not in their best interest to refuse to tell them that it is sin. This would be like refusing to tell them there is poison in their favorite food for fear of hurting their feelings.

As for those in the Bethany family who are gay--(first of all I’m very uncertain about labeling people “gay” or “straight.” It seems to me an odd thing to identify people by their particular sexual desires. It’s also my understanding that this is a fairly modern distinction.) But in any case, if there are people in the Bethany family who, because of the way they were born, are sexually attracted to those of the same sex, then I gladly embrace them in solidarity. They are people who are seeking the grace of God to overcome the sinful tendencies they were born with, just like me.

I don’t struggle with same sex attraction, but I do struggle with lust. I am very happily married, but even so, every time I see a skimpily-dressed woman, I have to fight against the desire to look at her lustfully. This desire is completely natural. I was born with it. And it is also completely sinful. It is a cross I, and most Christian men, have to carry. It is something we constantly struggle with--often painfully. It is a part of me that must die, so that Christ can lead me into the type of life he has called all of us to live.

But how could I say, “No. This is my identity. I was born with a tendency for sexual lust, and there’s nothing wrong with that, and I want people to accept and affirm me for who I am”?

If there are people who are a regular part of the Bethany family who unrepentantly practice homosexual behavior (or open marriage, or legal prostitution, or promiscuity) then they should be confronted about that. It should be made clear to them that such behavior is sin, and that they should repent. They are no better or worse than the rest of us. All of us are called to repent of the sinful things we do naturally, and they are no exception.

“If I made a decision many years ago to end a pregnancy and don’t regret that decision, I can’t be a Christian?”

I want to be quick to say that I realize a woman’s decision to have an abortion is a profound one and one accompanied by many deep and complex emotions. Please don’t take anything I say as trivializing that.

The first thing that must be considered in answer to this question is what is said in the two passages from Jeremiah 1 and Psalm 139 I cited in an earlier post:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;”

“For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”

The foremost question is, if someone believes that these passages are true--that they are inspired from God, how can that person believe that ending the life of an unborn child is a right decision. What does it mean to be a Christian if one has no obligation to submit his or herself to the authority of scripture? How could Christian morality have any meaning if we judge our moral actions only by how we feel about them afterwards?

To answer your question directly. If someone chose to abort an unborn child (not just a pregnancy) and does not regret it, she should.

But please, please understand. I am no better than a woman who’s had many abortions. I am someone who has chosen to do sinful things in my past as well. But if I have truly signed over my life to Christ--if I truly believe he is who he’s portrayed to be in scripture, than I must repent. I must ask his forgiveness and ask for the grace to keep from continuing in my sins. If I were to refuse to do this, what meaning could following Christ have?

With all this in mind, the one central thing that those who practice homosexuality and those who have had abortions and those, like me, who struggle with lust and narcissism, need to know is that God loves you. And the fact that he loves us necessarily means that he wants to purify us of the sinful urges we naturally struggle with, and redeem us from the sinful acts of our past. God loves us and there’s nothing we can do about it. And his love is a perfect and purifying one, and there’s nothing we can do about that either.

I want to reiterate how valuable it is to be able to discuss important issues like this in a candid but mutually respectful way. Such discussions are rare but desperately needed.

Please don’t hesitate to post your comments in response.

Mike